Category: Dating and Relationships
Hey all.
Well my ex recently asked me out and I said no. Then he said please.
I mean after a break should you really get back together with the person after they hurt you?
I know people say forgive and forgive, but why should you forgive and forget?
Isn't there a line between what's wrong in a relationship and what's right?
Am I the only one who feels this way?
Peace,
Karrie
Well Carie, like i told you privately, If something isn't working and you guys keep breaking up, why keep going back. If a relationship is not working, and it gets to a point of break up, my ex's stay ex's. I never take one back. Maybe you need to just take time off of relationships for a while, and gather your thoughts and feelings and get your emotions settled.
That would depnd on how badly you were hurt and if you are still touchy regarding the pain...the way I see it is, he's using this lets get back together, as a type of emotional abuse...Carie I'd tell him to forget the idea and concentrate on yourself for a while..when you feel stronger then start dating but keep clear of this guy he's nasty...
While I may not know the circumstances surrounding this post, nor the reasons behind the responses that people have made, nor the nature of the actual relationship ere it failed: I'm inclined to agree that you should not go back to him. Remember: That which was broken can be broken again. If you shatter a goblet and glue it back together, it will only break all the more easily the second time around. It's always best to drink from a fresh goblet, not one that's patched and tattered and held together by bonds of glue. In other words: If you two couldn't make it work before, why would the story change now? While it is true that sometimes ex's can fall in love again, these instances are extremely rare. Remember also that the past will always be hanging over your heads whilst together. Any trials or tribulations may cause one or the other to use the past as a weapon, which is definitely a no-go.
I shan't give thee advice as to whether to abandon the dating scene for a while or not, because my opinions rather bias me in this field. What I can tell you is: Be sure of what you want. If you want difficult times, fighting, distrust, disharmony... then by all means date him again. If you want a fresh new start, peace of mind, a trust that's freshly forged and not crudely mended... then wait a while, then get a new relationship. Leave the past in the past, keep thine eyes ever before thee and not behind.
hey it depends on the situaation. if his hurting you then dont but if you still have feelings for each other then give your selves sometime to think about it first before going back again, its hard but if you can still stay friends with your x bf's then thats good. but dont go back yet think about it first.
I agree, depending on the situation, if it's that bad then don't go back. If the situation is fixable and you can trust him then give him another chance but no more then two chances. But to be honest if you give him another chance it should be for friendship not a relationship as once a man does something, there's a chance (depend on how bad it was) he might do it again. Like for instance say he cheats on you, then there's a big chance he'll do it again unless he really cleans his act up. If he can't decide on weather to date you or his ex gf then there's a big red flag as I've always seen this in men who can't decide. Once they string you and lead you on and go back to the ex then he'll definately do it again. I've had this happen to me with two men already. But if you do give him another chance just be careful that he wont hurt you a second time around. And I'd ask him "Name 4 or more positive things that you've done for me. And 2 or less negitive things you've done to me and how you can change." And if he doesn't answer you then you really need to move on.
Well I will only say this much if your bf is saying that he wants to get back with you try talking to him and tell him the concerns you have then if there is a dfferent view then give it some thought.
Thats all I have to say now.
Matt
My partner and I recently got back together after some issues that needed solving.
If the love is true, and strong, then it can work.
In some cases, it may take growing apart, and then getting back together to really realize just what attracted the two individuals in the first place.
It took some time, but I now realize that I want to be with no one but my current partner.
Sometimes I'd like to throw my hands up, but who ever said love didn't require a lot of hard work and effert was, and is full of shit.
all that being said, if you really love the person, then it can be worked out.
Depends on what they did to you. For example, if the breakup was after ... well, after someone has hurt you, this will be difficult. But if the breakup was no one's fault particularly, then I can imagine it. It might happen.
its really depends on situation. if the break up just cause by both party, no third party involve and both party are willing to heal the paint, and work it up somehow, its possible. but if the break up cause of third party, the chance to getting back together is rather hard. even though both party might try, but then, the scars will still around.
That's what I meant, sis.